She Was Sad

She was sad

to have to say she was sad

and frightened

and uncertain

and angry

and all manner of not so positive feelings

all knotted up like a ball of yarn

attacked by a litter of kittens

torn

chewed

tangled

scattered

It seems contrary to the law of nature

to experience so many feelings all at one time

but her very existence

seemed contrary to nature

She should have died a dozen times

wished she'd died a dozen more

but every time she managed to escape

they brought her back

Time and again

she'd moved through the darkness toward the light

only to be yanked back

Life tortured

Death eluded

Another conflict to be pondered

Maybe she just didn't want to meet death badly enough

Maybe something greater

wanted her to stay wrapped in her earthly body

She left it behind more times than she could count

soared here and there without it

but always when her eyelids opened

she would find herself

once again

looking out of those hazel eyes

breathing through the fleshy nose she never liked

Where joy should have greeted

disappointment opened the door

Few understand what it's like

to live a tortured existence

Survival is a poor substitute for life

but for some it's all there is